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kismaayo:

job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job

Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul thanking each other in their Emmy acceptance speeches

elo-cin:

GIRLS ARE SO PRETTY AND I AM A PILE OF SEAWEED

Best reaction ever.

hyperlink37:

talents include looking 12 and saying thank you to the bus driver

putuporshuttup:

if you can pull off a beanie you can pull off my pants

cross out the things you’ve done

Graduated high school. Kissed someone. Collected something really stupid. Smoked a cigarette. Got so drunk you passed out. Rode every ride at an amusement park. Gone to a rock concert. Helped someone. Gone fishing. Watched four movies in one night. Gone long periods of time without sleep. Lied to someone. Snorted cocaine. Failed a class. Smoked weed. Dealt drugs. Been in a car accident. Been in a tornado. Been to a funeral. Burned yourself. Ran a marathon. Cried yourself to sleep Spent over £200 in one day. Flown on a plane. Cheated on someone. Been cheated on. Written a 10 page letter. Gone skiing. Been sailing. Lost someone you loved. Shoplifted something. Been to jail. Dangerously close to being in jail. Skipped school. Had detention. Got in trouble for something you didn’t do. Stolen books from the library. Gone to a different country. Dropped out of school. Watched the “Harry Potter” movies. Had an online diary. Had a yard sale. Had a lemonade stand.Actually made money at the lemonade stand. Been in a school play. Been fired from a job. Swam with dolphins. Taken a lie detector test. Voted for someone on a reality TV show. Written poetry. Read more than 20 books a year. Gone to EuropeLoved someone you shouldn’t have. Used a coloring book over age 12. Had surgery. Taken a taxiSeen the Washington Monument. Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once. Overdosed. Been in a fist fight. Gone surfing in California. Had a hamster/guinea pig. Pet a wild animal. Used a credit card. Did “spirit day” at school. Dyed your hair. Got a tattoo. Got straight A’s. Been on the Honor Roll. Know someone with HIV or AIDS. Made-out with someone. Played on a sports team. Snuck out of the house. Swore at a teacherGone laser tagging. Had a romantic relationship. Been on the TV. French braided. Skinny-dipped. Driven a car. Performed in front of an audience. Gone bungee-jumping. Been to Mexico. Crashed a car. Sky dived. Been kissed in the rain. Made an 11:11 wish. Drank alcohol. Forwarded a chain letter. Made a mistake.

420calum:

So at work yesterday we only had pink spoons to hand out for the frozen yogurt and every male asked if we had a different color spoon because they did not like pink and it’s femininity and lemme tell u that this proves boys are weak and a fuckjng pink spoon proved that

castiels-feathery-butt:

when he cums inside u

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darlingmendes:

robbersinterlude:

darlingmendes:

i just want to take him home gOD

jack stop you jerk  

god i want him

awkwardvagina:

theres only 4 months left of this year and if that doesnt freak you out then youre lying

swonb:

ambulanceinertia:

Why do some Targets have those big red concrete orbs out in front of them what purpose do those big red concrete orbs serve

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