job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job
Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul thanking each other in their Emmy acceptance speeches
GIRLS ARE SO PRETTY AND I AM A PILE OF SEAWEED
talents include looking 12 and saying thank you to the bus driver
if you can pull off a beanie you can pull off my pants
Graduated high school. Kissed someone. Collected something really stupid.Smoked a cigarette. Got so drunk you passed out. Rode every ride at an amusement park. Gone to a rock concert. Helped someone. Gone fishing. Watched four movies in one night. Gone long periods of time without sleep. Lied to someone. Snorted cocaine. Failed a class. Smoked weed. Dealt drugs. Been in a car accident.Been in a tornado. Been to a funeral. Burned yourself. Ran a marathon. Cried yourself to sleep. S pent over £200 in one day. Flown on a plane.Cheated on someone. Been cheated on. Written a 10 page letter. Gone skiing.Been sailing. Lost someone you loved.Shoplifted something. Been to jail. Dangerously close to being in jail. S kipped school. Had detention. Got in trouble for something you didn’t do. Stolen books from the library. Gone to a different country.Dropped out of school. Watched the “Harry Potter” movies. Had an online diary. Had a yard sale. Had a lemonade stand.Actually made money at the lemonade stand. Been in a school play.Been fired from a job. Swam with dolphins. Taken a lie detector test. Voted for someone on a reality TV show. Written poetry. Read more than 20 books a year. Gone to Europe. Loved someone you shouldn’t have. Used a coloring book over age 12. Had surgery. Taken a taxi. Seen the Washington Monument. Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once. Overdosed. Been in a fist fight. Gone surfing in California. Had a hamster/guinea pig. Pet a wild animal. Used a credit card. Did “spirit day” at school. Dyed your hair. Got a tattoo. Got straight A’s. Been on the Honor Roll.Know someone with HIV or AIDS. Made-out with someone. Played on a sports team. Snuck out of the house. Swore at a teacher. Gone laser tagging. Had a romantic relationship. Been on the TV. French braided. Skinny-dipped. Driven a car. Performed in front of an audience.Gone bungee-jumping. Been to Mexico. Crashed a car. Sky dived. Been kissed in the rain. Made an 11:11 wish. Drank alcohol. Forwarded a chain letter. Made a mistake.
So at work yesterday we only had pink spoons to hand out for the frozen yogurt and every male asked if we had a different color spoon because they did not like pink and it’s femininity and lemme tell u that this proves boys are weak and a fuckjng pink spoon proved that
i just want to take him home gOD
jack stop you jerk
god i want him
theres only 4 months left of this year and if that doesnt freak you out then youre lying